So your entire family is white trash? Okay, so that’s where you get it from. So you wear pounds of makeup and have fake hair? Right, I was just making sure. So you’re a total whore and sleep with tons of guys to get attention and don’t have any real friends? Gotcha, so I was right.
Why am I always right about people? And when I’m right, how come it always has to do with the disgusting people in this world? I would so much rather be wrong about these things. Honestly, this is getting old. All of these people, these absolutely heinous people. You can only really take in so much of it before you feel like throwing it all back up. I need to get away. I need to go far far away. Away from people, from school, from drama, from…life.
I would like, ever so much, to just disappear off the face of the Earth and just float in space for a a month or two. To be isolated from all the anxieties, the irritations, the unnecessary strife that comes from living life on this wretched planet, and just float in pure relaxation and for once just have a peace of mind. Just float… float away.
When I think the people in this world can’t get any more hideous, I get proven wrong. It is astonishing to me how different people you think you know can turn out to be. It is disgusting to me that people don’t know how to decipher what is wrong from right. To not know how to keep out of one’s business. To blatantly cause someone as much pain as they possibly could. It makes me legitimately sick to my stomach. And all I can hope for is that one day SOON, all of those horrid, vile people out there get what they deserve.
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. -Romans 12:19
Growing up in the town that I did helped me to realize the kind of people I despise in this world. The artificial, self consumed, arrogant, obnoxious, and ignorant girls and guys. My hometown is filled with them. The people who lack morals and ethics, goals and aspirations. They all just sicken me. What a waste of the gift of life. Now the actual town is a great place to grow up. When it comes to the actual place, I really do enjoy it for the most part. It’s just the people there that are just so repulsive. But in a way, I am glad I grew up around them, because it helped me to know what kind of person not to become.
All of them are so infuriating. Come to think of it, almost all people in the world are infuriating. Then thinking of all of these horrid people in the world just gets me thinking about how horrid the world is in general. How corrupt it is. All the deception, lies, and cheating. And then I realize that all of it roots back to the people who make it that way. It makes me think of how pure and beautiful this world would be without all the toxicity in it from the corrupt people. It makes me think of all the infuriating things in the world. All the bad things. All the hardships. All of the chaos and insanity. All of the sorrow and pain and stress.
But, then I think of all the people I have in my life who are genuinely great, and they give me hope. They give me hope that not all people out there are so vile and wretched. I think of all of the blessings I have in my life, regardless of all the crap that comes along with it that I am forced to deal with. And it helps me to push through.
So to all the causes of stress in my life. To all the roots of pain and suffering in my life. To all the foundations of anger, and angst, and troubles, and disgust in my life. All I have to say to you is that I shall overcome you.
“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And GOD is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”—1 Corinthians 10:13
“Do not stop. Do not let up. Do not quit. It isn’t a simple hope or dream if you wake to it every morning, and work toward it until you fall asleep. It will inevitably become your reality.”—Note to self. (via gabebondoc) (via serserserrano) (via gabasooon)
search for happiness. aspire for satisfaction and good feelings. everything else will fall into place — don’t over think things and allow your mind to breed anxiety over things not worth stressing about. everything is okay. no more worrying. :) once the worry is gone, the chaos of your mind will dissipate. strive for good feelings.
Yeah. It really is the little things that put things in perspective for you. That really help you to appreciate life. Those are the things that so many people these days just so easily overlook because the preciousness and meaning of those little things have been written off. So many people in this day and age have dulled their senses to society’s idea of what should be beautiful, or loving, or sweet, or kind, or meaningful. When really, all it takes to warm someone’s heart, or brighten someone’s day is a few simple words, or a small gesture to show them that you care. It does not have to be an extravagant gift, or an extreme gesture of love or whatever.
It always makes me smile when a stranger smiles at me, or at least is polite/has manners (not a lot people show manners these days). Or when someone I haven’t talked to in a while says hi, and strikes up some small talk. Or when I get a really good hug from a friend. That’s all it really takes, you know? Or maybe a nice drive, or even just stepping out on a nice day. In a world where there is so much to want and ask for, the best way to show that you care, or even that you appreciate life, is not the most expensive or lavished gifts and material possessions, but the simplest act of kindness, love, and gratefulness towards every single aspect of your life, big or small, good or bad. To all people and things in your life.
This weekend helped me to realize that just a blue sky, a cool breeze, and being in the arms of the one I love is all it takes for me to be happy. That’s all it takes. :)
I don’t really consider Valentine’s Day a holiday. And no, I am not just saying that because I am bitter or whatever. I actually have no reason to be bitter this year anyway ;). But my point is, that I have spent every single Valentine’s Day (up until this year) in my entire life, alone. And you would never catch me being depressed, or bitter, or upset, or any kind of combination of the three. If anything, I was happy for those who took advantage of the day. And I say this with complete honesty. I was never going to show off to the world that I was unhappy that I didn’t have a boyfriend or whatever to buy me roses. It was never about that. And honestly, I never was unhappy because I had enough people in my life who I loved and who loved me back. (Not saying that there isn’t room for more.)
The way I see it is, Valentine’s Day is a day you should appreciate, not only your partner, but all your loved ones. If you don’t have a partner at the moment, seize the day to show your family and friends that you care. And if not that, just sit tight, because it is only one day people. If it brings back hurtful/bad memories, be strong. Don’t show that you are weak. Prove to yourself, and everyone else, that what and who you have in your life right now is all you need, and that you appreciate them, are thankful for them, and love them indefinitely.
End of story.
(And if all else fails, turn to those people in your life that you love and know you can depend on to help you get through the day.)
Why I Chose You. I chose you because… You are the most beautiful, intelligent, creative, artistic, compassionate, and sophisticated woman I have ever met. You give me the breath of life by brightening my day with simple things like your voice and warmth. Your smile brings me more happiness than I could have ever imagined. Your eyes reflect everything I’m thinking back at me with complete understanding. You always know what to say to me when I’m feeling sad, upset, or just down. You understand everything when I explain it to you and share your own unique viewpoint that always fascinates me. You change my ideas about life and the way this world is for the better. You consistently inspire me to try my hardest and be the best I can be. You let me care for you and do everything I can to make you happy. (Which in turn makes me Extremely happy.) You make me feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world. You exceed every standard and attribute that I have ever had for my future wife. You love me just as much as I love you. You complete me in every single way imaginable. And also because…I chose you and You chose me. It’s as simple as that. P.S: And because your #1! PPS: I LOVE YOU!
Why are there so many ridiculous people in this world? There are so many people that invoke the most repulsive, ugly, and horrid qualities that a human being could ever posses. I just can’t fathom how anyone becomes like that. It is absolutely beyond me. It has become very hard to not completely blow up at them. But I’ve learned to just take a step back. Just take a step back and laugh. Because it was ridiculous to an infuriating point, but now it just ridiculous to a riotous point. I’m so above these childish games.
There are times where, looking back on the situation, the hostility and immaturity is so unnecessary it instantly gets me upset again, but I come to the conclusion that if that is how those people would like to be, I am going to condone it, because it’s never going to be worth my time or effort to involve myself in it or get worked up over. I have better things to spend my time and thoughts on. When I am about —>| |<— this close to absolutely losing my cool, I just vent. That always seems to do the trick. I’m cooled down, and thinking rationally again. When in doubt, write it out. That is the best kind of advice I could ever give.
“Patience is a virtue.”—Oh hell yes it is, and it gets very difficult to maintain sometimes, especially with so many infuriating people in this world. But just trying to keep my composure and remain poised.
I cannot believe how fast this school year has gone by. Part of me doesn’t feel like it’s already more than half way over, but the sudden realization of it all hit me pretty hard just now. Probably in a few days, I’ll just settle back into my stray thoughts of how fast the time is really passing. It’s all kind of weird actually, how much of my life has passed and will never happen again. But then again, there is so much more time and things to come. I don’t think I really fathom the future. Having my own place, getting married, having my own career, doing what I want when I want, etc.
I think it is actually very interesting how I can be inspired so easily. The simplest of things can trigger an array of thoughts and possibilities that could affect the rest of my life, even if it is in the smallest sense. Usually photographs are the main source of most of my inspirations. Whether it is what I want to do with my life, or a past time I would like to try, or an adventure I would like to partake, or a way to design my home, or change my wardrobe. There are infinite amounts of possibilities and I love that there is just so much room to breathe and experiment. The sky is the limit, literally.
And I know who is going to be right there with me experiencing all these things as well. Don’t you dare think that I am going to let you experience anything less. ;) I need you there with me. No experience would ever be the same without you.
In a sense, it signifies a lot of things. Wisdom. Discontent. Stress. Age. In my case, it usually consists of stress. Actually, it’s always stress. I have this one particular area where they always grow too. The way I see my gray hairs is that, the amount I stress is in relation to the amount of gray hairs I get in a period of time. I don’t mind the gray hairs though. I kind of like them. I feel like they add character. They show my struggles, what I’ve been through, and yet… I’m still here. Just another way of saying that, you may see me struggle, but you’ll never see me fall.
I know I’m going to get to where I want to be. Of course there are bound to be obstacles along the way, but the more obstacles I get through, the greater the journey is to look back on and be proud of. I can’t wait until I get to that point. Well actually, I reach that point all the time. Overcoming an obstacle, getting to one place in my life that ultimately will lead to another journey and another obstacle to reach the end of that journey and so on. It’s a never ending cycle. I kind of take comfort in that. Knowing that, there really is no end to the unpredictability to life. It’s like, that crappy feeling at the end of the weekend when you know it’s the end of the weekend, just magnified. I never have to feel like that about life. It keeps going. Adventure after adventure. And boy am I going to have a lot of adventures in my life. I refuse to accept anything less in my life.
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you are staring failure straight in the face, knowing that it has won. That you have been defeated. And there is nothing in the world that you can do about it.
Science is just not my thing. Science and math. Those are the 2 things in this entire world that I utterly despise. But for some stupid ridiculous reason, some sciences classes are required for an English/Communications double major. Go figure. So now, my GPA is going to absolutely horrid because of a class that I do not need nor care about. Who the hell ever came up with this stupid GE system crap. Who cares about freakin’ general education? I just would like to be educated in the things I need to know for my career that I plan on having. I mean, if I (or my parents) are paying $7000 for this stupid education, I feel like I might as well be taking classes specifically for my career choice! Doesn’t that make sense? Sheesh! It is infuriating. And what sucks the most is that like, no matter how much I study and read and practice all this bull sh*t science and math, I just don’t get it. My brain does not comprehend these kinds of things. I am sorry that I was born that way! But now I am getting penalized (or more particularly, my GPA) for it. I find something to be severely wrong with this system.
Ana, Christina, Natalie and I are pulling all nighters in order to finish our work/study for the midterms that we are going to fail tomorrow. Part of me just wants to get this test over with and fail already. And the other part of me is just begging and hoping that I somehow pull some miracle and manage a D or C on this midterm. I am probably wasting a lot of time by writing this, but I figure, you can’t fight fate. And my fate is to fail anything science and math related. I have never been so adamant in finding my freakin’ (hopefully my dream) career, getting my own place w/ Brandon, making some dough, and just taking a load off and relaxing for a good few years and/or the rest of my life. Man, that sounds good. I just want it to be the freakin’ weekend.
And last but not least, Ana (my floor mate) has the most erratic, repulsive, hilarious, flamboyant farts in the entire world. Sadly enough, half the time they occur on my bed. *sigh*