in general

I always have my head in the clouds. It’s so hard to live in reality when you can think up anything you could ever possibly want in your head. You would think that with a gift such as precious as life, there would never be a moment in it that was less than great. That there would never be a mediocre moment, a sad moment, a bad moment. But I guess without those moments, it would be hard to experience, let alone appreciate the good ones. And with all this contemplation on life, it just brings me back to the solid foundation that my life does not belong to me. So whatever His plan is, however many mediocre, sad, bad, great, happy moments he puts in my life, I don’t have to understand. Because it’s all a part of his greater plan, something that I am oblivious to.

Slowly but surely, I am losing faith in people, in this world. I just don’t understand. I cannot comprehend why it is so hard to rely on people these days. It’s exhausting to live in such a dismal world.

I haven’t been feeling much like myself. The world seems to be totally in place I guess, I just feel like my view of things is off. …Like REALLY off. I’m not sure why. I’m not really sure when either. I guess it all started to happen gradually. I guess there are the subtle things I could start to change to get back on the path of “comfort” so to speak. But I am one of those people who want that instant gratification. And that is obviously never how the world works. I feel lost I guess. Hopefully those subtle changes will start to make more of a difference than I am expecting. Fingers crossed.  

1. Don’t overthink. Too much thinking often results in getting stuck, in going in circles. Some thinking is good — it’s good to have a clear picture of where you’re going or why you’re doing this — but don’t get stuck thinking. Just do.
2. Just start. All the planning in the world will get you nowhere. You need to take that first step, no matter how small or how shaky. My rule for motivating myself to run is: Just lace up your shoes and get out the door. The rest takes care of itself.
3. Forget perfection. Perfectionism is the enemy of action. Kill it, immediately. You can’t let perfect stop you from doing. You can turn a bad draft into a good one, but you can’t turn no draft into a good draft. So get going.
4. Don’t mistake motion for action. A common mistake. A fury of activity doesn’t mean you’re doing anything. When you find yourself moving too quickly, doing too many things at once, this is a good reminder to stop. Slow down. Focus.
5. Focus on the important actions. Clear the distractions. Pick the one most important thing you must do today, and focus on that. Exclusively. When you’re done with that, repeat the process.
6. Move slowly, consciously. Be deliberate. Action doesn’t need to be done fast. In fact, that often leads to mistakes, and while perfection isn’t at all necessary, neither is making a ridiculous amount of mistakes that could be avoided with a bit of consciousness.
7. Take small steps. Biting off more than you can chew will kill the action. Maybe because of choking, I dunno. But small steps always works. Little tiny blows that will eventually break down that mountain. And each step is a victory, that will compel you to further victories.
8. Negative thinking gets you nowhere. Seriously, stop doing that. Self doubt? The urge to quit? Telling yourself that it’s OK to be distracted and that you can always get to it later? Squash those thoughts. Well, OK, you can be distracted for a little bit, but you get the idea. Positive thinking, as corny as it sounds, really works. It’s self-talk, and what we tell ourselves has a funny habit of turning into reality.
9. Meetings aren’t action. This is a common mistake in management. They hold meetings to get things done. Meetings, unfortunately, almost always get in the way of actual doing. Stop holding those meetings!
10. Talking (usually) isn’t action. Well, unless the action you need to take is a presentation or speech or something. Or you’re a television broadcaster. But usually, talking is just talking. Communication is necessary, but don’t mistake it for actual action.
11. Planning isn’t action. Sure, you need to plan. Do it, so you’re clear about what you’re doing. Just do it quickly, and get to the actual action as quickly as you can.
12. Reading about it isn’t action. You’re reading an article about action. Ironic, I know. But let this be the last one. Now get to work!
13. Sometimes, inaction is better. This might be the most ironic thing on the list, but really, if you find yourself spinning your wheels, or you find you’re doing more harm than good, rethink whether the action is even necessary. Or better yet, do this from the beginning — is it necessary? Only do the action if it is. [via http://littlemiss.tumblr.com/]

When you think about your life so far, and you think about all the things you regret, do you come up with a lot of things?

When I was asked if I could go back in time to about 3rd grade and tell myself one thing to avoid doing and one thing that I could never believe happening, I found out that there is nothing really major that I would avoid doing. Of course there are those little things that you obviously could have lived your life without doing looking back on it all. But for the most part, I am very proud of all the decisions I have made in my life and to be completely honest, I stand by and support them. I feel like that definitely shows that the person I have become, the mind and personality I have developed are very grounded, especially if I can honestly look back on my life and say that I am more that satisfied with how things worked out. Not a lot of people can say that in this world.

Now in regards to what I would tell myself that I could not believe would happen, I don’t think I could narrow it down to one thing. But I did manage to narrow it down to two. The first thing would be that I am still unconditionally best friends with Christina Bi. Yes, I would consider that one hell of an accomplishment. Best friends for over 10 years. Never really losing contact, through all the changes, through all the phases, still best friends. In this world, and especially in the town I grew up, that is very very rare. And the second thing would be that I am going to marry my high school crush. That is also one hell of an accomplishment as well. I obviously am not married yet, but to know at this point who I am going to marry and the fact that he is the guy I happened to be obsessed with and have the biggest crush on in my entire life, that is pretty unbelievable to me, and I sure as hell would not believe that if I told myself that in the 3rd grade.

Talking with my best friend/college roommate in the wee hours of the morning for the past God knows how many days has made me come to a re-realization that my life is great. The people in my life are great. And that is it. It’s a good feeling to know that I have people who love me unconditionally who can bring me out of the darkest, deepest places of my mind when I feel I am drowning.